Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
