Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just found puke in my bra..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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