I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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