tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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