life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
