so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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