Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize