You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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