not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
