Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
