Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
