Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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