Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
