Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
