Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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