I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dick very happy bro
i am craving dick and cupcakes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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