sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
