who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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