She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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