The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i would punch a child for taco bell
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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