Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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