Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
