She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize