do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize