About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
