I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
