U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
