I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
