Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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