even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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