thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
