Duck Duck Cougar?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
