Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
