what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize