this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
