i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
