we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
