i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have post one night stand depression
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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