Porn is love you can see.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
