The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
