I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
