D3 body, D1 cock
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
