I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize