You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
