there's paper in my vomit.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
