i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
