Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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