hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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