Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
