better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
