Dude my mom stole all your condoms
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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