Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize