I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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