Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
