I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
