jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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