Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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